After more than 20 years working in sexual wellness, I’ve learnt plenty about marketing, business, people and myself. Whilst some lessons came from launching products and building brands, most of them apply to almost any industry. Here are ten things I’ve learnt along the way.
1. Get to the Point
Cut to the chase. Personally, I love it when people get to the point and are straight up honest with me, whether I like what they’re saying or not. I can respect that and I appreciate that they respect me enough to tell me how it is. What drives me insane is endless waffle with no point in sight. It’s confusing and clouds anything you’re trying to say, which might be brilliant, but we’ll never know because it’s lost in waffle world.
It doesn’t do you any favours, and it saves a lot of time when you grab the bull by the horns and say what you think. You’ve got nothing to lose and what’s the worst that can happen? Someone disagrees but you might learn why they disagree and see something from a new perspective. Hell, you might even learn something!
2. To Pitch or Not to Pitch
This one is probably personal preference. I’ll hold my hands up here and say I’m not a fan of the pitch deck. Whilst I understand the need to show people what you’ve got, it doesn’t necessarily showcase all your best bits especially if the work you do isn’t visually exciting (spreadsheet, anyone?!).
It takes time to research, prepare and come up with a plan of attack. I don’t think people realise what a skill it actually is to analyse and strategise based on the limited information provided, especially when things are likely to change once you have all the information.
Having spent more than two decades pitching sexual wellness brands, I’ve learnt that relationships matter more than pitch decks. What has worked for me is that first phone call and the connection with the other person. I want to work with people I like. And of course, understanding what the project requirements are and what I can deliver on, as well as identifying areas that they might not have considered to be part of their strategy but need to be.
And yes, I do follow up with an email topline breakdown to showcase what I believe are the next steps but that’s it. Everyone is busy and sometimes providing a simple and straightforward action plan is sufficient, aka getting to the point.
3. The Blag Will Only Get You So Far
I can’t blame anyone for trying their luck and if a blag gets you where you need to be, then hats off to you. The trickier part is sustaining, staying where you are. A blag with no substance, no delivery as it were, doesn’t last long. Sooner or later, you’ll be discovered.
The ones that go the distance are the ones that adapt, learn and try. They use the opportunity to absorb everything and work hard to stay there.
From my experience, it doesn’t work when you’re not willing to evolve and when you’re taking credit for other people’s work. So don’t do that.
4. Listen More
Very early on in my working life, my mother said to me “God gave you one mouth and two ears for a reason.” When I think of this, it reminds me to listen. That doesn’t mean I get it right all the time.
In work, I’ve had people repeat what I’ve said in a meeting as if it was their own idea, literally after I’ve just said it. I’ve had people talk over me whilst I’m talking by talking louder. I’ve seen people get distracted and not pay attention to whoever’s talking and then complaining that they didn’t know about the issue at hand even though it was explained to them. I’ve been guilty of multi-tasking whilst on a call and then realising I’m not paying attention. If I catch myself doing this, I close my laptop, apologise and ask the person I’m talking to, to repeat what they were saying…and I actively listen.
I especially appreciate the words of wisdom that come through advice and experience. When others are kind enough to share that with me, I am going to listen.
Listening has taught me a lot!
5. The Power of Saying Sorry
We all get it wrong sometimes. We’re human! One of the most powerful things I have learnt is to admit when I’m wrong or if I’ve made a mistake and to apologise.
I believe when you don’t admit you’re wrong or you can’t apologise, the hole you’re digging gets bigger and it then gets harder to climb out of it.
It breeds resentment and let’s face it, it’s hard to work with someone that thinks they’re always right…because no one is right all of the time.
6. Making Mistakes
Like I said, we’re humans. We’re going to make mistakes.
I have learnt a lot from my mistakes. Without a doubt, my mistakes have taught me something. They have taught me not to do it again and have given me experience on figuring out what works and what doesn’t.
What I’ve found helpful is being able to say, “I’ve made a mistake, but this is how we can rectify it.” Come up with a solution or at least try to! Failing that, hold your hands up and ask for help. Sometimes you need to bang creative heads together where you can bounce ideas off each other, or you need a fresh perspective. Together, you’ll figure it out.
I believe how we navigate our mistakes and the mistakes of others help us become better at our jobs and our colleagues appreciate the honesty.
7. Celebrate the Wins
Celebrate the wins, your wins and the wins of others.
I’ve never been great at celebrating my wins; I find it awkward.
I’m used to working behind the scenes and usually when one task is done, I’m onto the next. When I’m in the thick of it, I forget the wins. Sometimes at the time, wins don’t feel like wins either.
Recently I was asked to highlight achievements from my career, which made me realise I hadn’t thought about what I’ve accomplished in a long time. It was great to look back and celebrate the wins. Better late than never!
(Some of these wins are on our social channels @mediabitchmarketing, thanks to Han for making me look back!)
8. I Can Do It All
No, I can’t.
Working across product launches, marketing campaigns and brand development in the sexual wellness industry taught me that I couldn’t do everything myself. It doesn’t mean I didn’t try.
Whatever task I tackle, I want to do the best I can so you can imagine that when you’re trying to do everything, you’re spread thin, you’re stressed out and you’ve got a fast-track ticket to Burnout City.
I learnt I wasn’t going to be good at everything and that’s ok.
I’ve now got a good grasp of the various individual parts of a project and how these parts come together to make the overall bigger picture work. This has helped me understand where I shine. It’s helped me to identify the bits of work I didn’t enjoy or didn’t want to do and essentially, where I needed help.
I learnt that the trick was to surround myself with talented, creative, hard-working experts in their fields who knew more than I did and could do certain things better than I could. Together, we really are stronger.
9. Put It into Perspective
In the grand scheme of things, does it matter?
Putting things into perspective has been a wonderful way to remind me that there is light at the end of the tunnel. I’ve gone through some tough times during which I thought they would never end, where I couldn’t see any light. At the time it felt like being trapped in a negative nightmare with no end in sight.
I learnt that it does come to an end. I learnt that even tough times are temporary and that they, too, will pass, even though it doesn’t feel like it at the time.
This life experience has definitely shaped my work life. It’s made me appreciate that others might be going through something tough and that reactions to me might have nothing to do with me but are instead to do with things I’m not aware of.
It’s made me realise that, in the grand scheme of things, work disasters are not the end of the world. These too will pass. I will get over it.
I hope my life experiences have taught me to be more empathetic, compassionate and kinder to others, because fundamentally this is more important to me than anything else.
10. Be Kind
When I started my career in television production, I had a work experience placement at BBC Birmingham and I remember hearing “Be nice to the work experience, you’ll never know who you’ll meet on the way down.” This has stuck with me for various reasons. It reminds me that I should be kind to everyone and not get too big for my boots. There will always be someone coming up behind me who shines brighter, and one day the roles might be reversed. You don’t know what the future will bring or when things might change for you.
Kindness is what I remember. I remember how someone made me feel. And that is what stays with me.
So be kind, you don’t know what impact or influence it might have on someone or yourself.
Looking back, none of these lessons came from things going perfectly. Most came from mistakes, difficult conversations, unexpected opportunities and a willingness to keep learning. Whether you work in sexual wellness or somewhere completely different, I hope one or two of these resonate with you.
Nina Saini is the founder of MediaBitch™, a marketing consultancy specialising in sexual wellness brands. With more than 20 years of experience in the sexual wellness and sex toy industry, she has worked with brands across retail, B2B, manufacturing and marketing.
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